I recommend children see me weekly, for 30 to 45-minute sessions, over approximately 20 weeks for

best results. However, positive changes surrounding specific symptoms could be observable even after

the first few sessions. Sometimes, fewer, or more sessions are needed. It all depends on the difficulty of

the situation, the individual’s character, and any new challenges the client may face as time goes on.

Please also keep in mind that predictability and consistency are essential when re-training the brain,

which is what all therapy aims to do.

How to communicate more care for your child with simple acts, like locking eye gaze more often.

How to be an active listener, as well as good reflector of your child’s feelings, so they know they are being understood.

How to show genuine interest in what your child does and respond appropriately.

How to empower your child to solve problems on their own, and to be confident in their own abilities to do so.

It may sound simple, but believe it or not, these skills take practice. As therapists, we can find that not many people employ them often enough. However, by modelling these methods, a parent can then instil proper relational behaviours in their child. This is helpful when it comes to their own relationship with you, and with others.

With family therapeutic play we use an engaging method to bring out the emotions that need to be addressed during these times. And of course, that method is play.

Play can also encompass other expressive and creative means, such as art, music or storytelling.

The first step is me meeting with you as the parent to prepare you for the play therapy process. Then, together as a family, with me as your therapist, we will draw together, play with dolls or action figures together, and maybe even make a song and dance together. But this is not just to have a good time! There is a lot of meaning to glean from the dialogue and action brought out in these sessions. Through play and expressive means and under the guidance of the therapist, families ‘talk’ about their problems and how they can work together to solve them.

Depending on your case, the combination of family members I would ask to be in sessions can vary. If the problem is mainly with siblings, I would ask that they be in the room together to work through their relationship. And if extended family is available to support you, it might help to have them join in too.

The benefit of using therapeutic play in a family therapy setting is that play is the most natural language for children.  If we want children to be interested in family therapy, we must talk their language, and at their level. Even adults can find playful methods of doing therapy easier. Play is something we all do naturally, whether young or old.

If your children are older (usually over 12 years old), we also can use talk therapy in these sessions, or a mix of both. The way the session is carried out will depend on your unique family circumstance. We will discuss this before we begin a family treatment plan.

After attending regular sessions, you should begin to see outcomes among participants such as:

Spending more time together, increasing the sense of intimacy and bonding.

Lessening the number of times conflict ensues and finding it easier to resolve conflict when it happens.

Being able to manage anger (or other negative emotions) through coping mechanisms such as breathing deeply, re-evaluating thoughts about a situation, or finding other outlets to express one’s frustration.

Having peace while living ‘everyday life,’ without the overarching burden of family stresses that may have ‘taken over’ your lives formerly. These stresses may not go away, but your ability to live through them at regulated moods should improve.

Finding the communication process easier when engaging with family members, as well as encountering fewer misunderstandings.

Plus, more. Since the human condition is so varied this list could go on…

This is a good question. Therapy is a treatment that could theoretically go on forever. As life goes on, it’s inevitable changes can present new challenges. It’s like a game of whack-a-mole; when one problem is resolved, another one pops up. However, don’t lose hope. By resolving issues when they arise now, you can reduce the chances of future challenges hindering your relationships.

However, an initial family counselling plan would start with 10 weekly sessions, each lasting about 1 hour. It will be crucial to not miss appointments in order to get the best effectiveness possible out of the treatment.

I would need to speak with you beforehand though, to get an idea of your family’s specific needs, as 10 sessions may not bring the results you are hoping for in some cases. Feel free to call me for an initial consultation:

When we are facing behaviours or circumstances that indicate attachment disruptions or difficulties, relationship wounds, traumas, transitioning difficulties, and grief of losses, it may be worth having a call to discuss whther family therapy or family therapeutic play is right for you.

These are some instances where counselling can be beneficial.

IS YOUR FAMILY DIVORCED? With parenting agreements? Do your children find it hard to tolerate transitions between their time with each parent? Do your children express resentment towards a particular parent? What about jealousy among siblings? Or, have your children ever blamed themselves for your divorce?

DOES YOUR FAMILY LIVE IN SEPARATE HOMES MOST OF THE YEAR? Have your children been isolated for periods of time without the care of their parents or loved ones to fill that role for them? For example, at boarding school, or at a relative’s house? Or with foster parents? Or is the family living apart for practical reasons, such as job opportunities in another city requiring one parent to be away most of the time? In these cases, watch for symptoms of abandonment and isolation, such as avoiding closeness with you, picking fights, being defiant, or feeling withdrawn or anxious.

IS YOUR FAMILY A ‘BLENDED’ FAMILY? Meaning, a combined family with children from prior relationships, and possibly mixed with children from your current partnership? Have you witnessed self-isolation, constant sibling rivalry, jealousy among peers, or feelings of not being important to one parent or another? Is there animosity towards the stepparent of a child? Or an assertion that they have the right to ignore, or rebel against that stepparent?

DOES YOUR FAMILY HAVE A CHILD OR PARENT WITH A MEDICAL CONDITION OR DISABILITY? Sometimes, the needs of a particular child or family member are so intensive, they can use up all your resources as a parent. This can cause children to feel neglected, among other things. In situations like this, have you noticed feelings of not being as important as another sibling? What about feelings of guilt, or needing to take on a role or responsibility a child usually shouldn’t take on? Do you sense a resentment towards the sibling with the medical condition or disability?

HAS YOUR FAMILY EXPERIENCED THE RECENT DEATH OF SOMEONE CLOSE? t could be a mother, father or sibling, or even a relative or close family friend. Have you noticed signs of depression and anxiety setting in? Have your children or family members lost their joy for activities they used to love? Does anyone in the household spend more time in bed than usual, or experience nightmares or sleepless nights? Has anyone blamed the death on any person(s) in the home?

HAS YOUR FAMILY WITNESSED ABUSE? This can be either physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, and directed at either adults or children. In any such scenario, the emotional stability of all family members can be affected – even those who did not experience the abuse themselves. It is not easy to have been hurt by someone you trust, or to witness a loved one going through such pain. This can cause relationship breakdowns and certainly long-term trust issues as your children develop into adults. Collective healing is an important part of the recovery process of abuse, whether you may realize it at the moment. I encourage you to get in touch if this is your family’s situation, or has been in the past.

A NOTE ABOUT SUBSTANCE ABUSE: Substance abuse can also fall under this category and is certainly something that could be helped with therapy. If you or a family member have been a user for some time, but have already recovered, you may be ready to take your entire family through family therapy. During recovery, however, it may be best to ensure that there is full focus on healing and dealing with the substance abuse issue itself. Symptoms of children and families being impacted by substance abuse are real. Do you sense that your children feel ‘rejected’ by a parent? This can happen when a parent has been disconnected from reality for so long, that they are no longer emotionally available for their children. Also, do you feel your children have had an inconsistent experience with parental love or anger? Where sometimes there is violence and lashing out, and at other times, for inexplicable reasons to them, unexpected love and caring? These behaviours can create traumas, feelings of helplessness, instability and other factors that would affect a child’s ability to function socially and at school. Signs of these symptoms should be addressed as early as possible by a caregiver who is able to act towards getting help for the child. Even if family therapy is not the answer at this point, there may be other avenues of treatment for the benefit of those affected by substance abuse.